Three ways to keep Thanksgiving conversations civil

Thanksgiving provides a wonderful opportunity for families to come together, but a large holiday gathering can quickly become tense if your relatives hold different political or ideological views. While it may be impossible to avoid controversial topics at the dinner table, the holiday doesn’t have to end in a fight. If you enter discussions with an open mind and a cool head, your exchanges might even be productive. Here are three ways to ensure conversations stay civil.

1. Agree to certain ground rules. Establish a few rules about what’s acceptable in conversation this Thanksgiving. Saying, “let’s not talk about politics” may not be very effective and could even lead to an argument. Instead, ask everyone to agree not to disparage each other’s opinions, nor fixate on trying to change people’s minds.

2. Be a good listener. Rather than focusing on what you want to put across, try to really listen to what other people are saying, especially those you disagree with. Not only will this help you defend your own points, it’ll also give you a better sense of where they’re coming from and why they hold these opinions.

3. Use “I” statements. Instead of relying on facts and figures to support your arguments, try speaking from personal experience to explain how you’ve come to hold your opinions. Taking this approach will make others more likely to sympathize with what you have to say and less likely to get defensive.