How are you handling stress?

Are you feeling stressed? You are not alone if you answer yes. It could be argued that we are living in one of the most stressful times since WWII. The Coronavirus Pandemic is wreaking havoc on all of us. Shutdowns of schools, businesses, churches, shopping centers, restaurants, entertainments centers, and even medical facilities have forced all of us to live a different way of life. Many have to learn how to work from home, others have been laid off. Social distancing has not only separated us from our family members but also friends, teachers, doctors and others. Children are affected as well, adapting to new ways to learn. At the time in their lives when they need social contact to learn how to relate to others, they are isolated.

Stress affects the whole person: body, mind and spirit. Long term it may make us sick, lowering our ability to deal with a number of aliments. It can cause or exacerbate high blood pressure, heart palpitations, and weaken our immune system.

So what can we do?

You probably don’t need a list of common stress features to tell that you are stressed, but here are a few things you might be experiencing: tension headaches, gritting of teeth, jaw pain, and maybe even stuttering and stammering. Lips and hands may sometimes tremble and you might have sweaty palms.  Digestive tract distress is common.  Difficulty going to sleep and/or waking up several times a night can occur. We might feel unusually irritable, grumpy, or belligerence and blurt out things we ordinarily would not say. We may argue more or find ourselves reaching more often for an alcoholic drink or drugs to calm our nerves. And you may be getting sick more often.

It goes without saying that our lives are not better when we are stressed. Sometimes it isn’t as important to discover the underlying cause as it is to begin to do something about it. Here are simple suggestions:

Take care of your body. Stay away from stress-promoters like nicotine, caffeine and sugar. Eat foods that are good for you as often as possible and stay hydrated. If there has been a significant weight loss or gain during this time, inform your doctor.

Step away from life for a few minutes. Find a quiet spot and a comfortable chair and sit down. With eyes closed take some deep breaths and slowly breathe out. Think of yourself as a ragdoll totally relaxed. Envision a happy memory, like a childhood Christmas or fishing with your friends.

List happy events in your life. Read this list as often as necessary to help you remember things. Keep in mind that you have the ability to make your life more peaceful. You are in charge of how you deal with what is going on. Don’t let someone else paddle your canoe!

Make a list of your stressors. This list will help you evaluate what you can control and those things you cannot control.  Give those things you cannot control over to God. You can do this simply by reciting the Twenty third Psalm.  Evaluate those things you have written to determine which things you can control and develop a plan to handle them. Those things you need help with, ask for help. This will help you to stop beating up on yourself. Think about new goals because this pandemic will pass!

Block the outside world. Turn off the news and controversial shows! When you are in front of the TV, watch shows that make you happy. Reduce social media time. And don’t be a slave to your phone; you don’t always have to answer. Turn it off at night.

Make a concerted effort to change. We always feel better if we take charge of even the small things. If you have a home where things are loud and chaotic, you become quiet. Do smile drills in the morning when you rise and practice them all day. Use pleasant language in your home and with your friends. Quit thinking self-defeating thoughts. Give those to God.  Stop ruminating about things that you can’t fix. Take a mental tranquilizer. This means when a stressful thing is about to happen don’t do anything for seven seconds. If it’s really stressful take 21 seconds, and say, “I will not allow this to control how I feel.” Thomas Jefferson said, “When angry count to ten before doing anything, and if you are really angry count to a hundred.”

Exercise. Get into the sunshine and take a walk. Sit near windows when you have to be working and have plenty of light in the room.

Try new things. Focusing too much on self is often the basis for stress in our lives. Find a church, or online virtual services, and join. Reach out to help others by offering to help the poor, or volunteer at an animal shelter. Helping others is a sure way to get your mind off yourself.

Take care of the problems you CAN solve. They may at first seem like small things, but even cleaning out a closet, or rearranging the garage, or building a bird house, can help you feel you’ve accomplished something.

Pastor Larry W. Johnson has been a pastoral counselor for 30 years and may be reached by calling 540-635-5521.

And finally, realize your stress is real. While we might be tempted to downplay it, or others might be critical of you for it, it is not only real, it is these days epidemic. I know because as a pastoral counselor I am receiving more calls for counseling than ever before While face-to-face counseling has been the norm in the past, telephonic conferencing, iPhone sessions, or virtual counseling sessions are now available and working well. If you need some help reach out! This is not weakness it is strength, because you are taking charge. The key is to take that first step!

By Pastor Larry W. Johnson
M.Ed., D.Min., FAPA