People sometimes feel that they have lost control of their relationships, either following the birth of a child or simply because time has passed. Therefore, it’s very important to take the time, as a couple, to stop for a few minutes to discuss the situation. Investing in your relationship can only bring positive results.
Establish your priorities first. You should both make a list of what is essential to your happiness and the things on which you refuse to compromise. Then specify what would be a bonus to your well-being. When you know exactly what you want, you can sit down together and discuss what improvements can be made.
Keep in mind that in a couple, one party should never have to sacrifice themselves for the benefit of the other, nor feel a need to demean the other to enhance their own image. Maintaining the three fundamental basics of a strong relationship is vital: You, your partner, and your couple. These three different entities each have their reasons for existing. Everyone has his or her own individuality, and your relationship has its own personality. It is important, therefore, to maintain your own distinctiveness and not let the other rub off on you.
When a problem becomes apparent, instead of blaming your partner, first look at yourself. People often accuse others of being something they are themselves. The term for this is projection. Couples should always avoid engaging in this type of behavior.
Finally, don’t hesitate to meet with a mediator or a marriage counselor. They have the necessary expertise to help you find concrete solutions.
You should never be afraid of investing in a relationship to help it be happy and successful. Take the necessary time and make use of available resources.
Why you should try Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu
Praised for its practicality and efficacy, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu is simultaneously a sport, a self-defense system, and a fitness program. It’s an accessible sport that provides the benefits of staying in shape while improving your ability to react to an adversary if you find yourself in a dangerous situation.
Unlike other disciplines that rely primarily on brute strength, Jiu-Jitsu relies on leverage and technique to subdue the opponent. This approach makes it accessible for men, women, and children. It’s no wonder this martial art continues to grow in popularity.
Total body workout
Jiu-Jitsu is a full-body workout. It improves overall health, fitness, flexibility, muscular endurance, and strength. It also helps burn fat to promote weight loss.
On top of being good for your physical health, Jiu-Jitsu has many other positive benefits, including:
• Improved confidence
• Elevated mood
• Increased energy
• Better concentration at work or school
• Healthier lifestyle
• Deeper sleep
What are you waiting for? Find a martial arts school that offers Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu in your area.
February Celebrity Birthdays!
Do you share a birthday with a celebrity?
1 – Big Boi, 48, rapper (Outkast), born Antwan Patton, Savannah, GA, 1975.
2 – Christie Brinkley, 70, model, Monroe, MI, 1953.
3 – Isla Fisher, 47, actress (Wedding Crashers), Muscat, Oman, 1976.
4 – Oscar De La Hoya, 50, former boxer, Los Angeles, CA, 1973.
5 – Roger Thomas Staubach, 81, Hall of Fame football player, Cincinnati, OH, 1942.
6 – Kathy Najimy, 66, actress (Hocus Pocus), San Diego, CA, 1957.
7 – Gay Talese, 91, author, Ocean City, NJ, 1932.
8 – Dawn Olivieri, 42, actress (Yellowstone), Seminole, FL, 1981.
9 – Joe Pesci, 80, actor (My Cousin Vinny), Newark, NJ, 1943.
10 – Jim Cramer, 68, financial analyst, television personality (Mad Money), Wyndmoor, PA, 1955.
11 – Brandy, 44, singer, born Brandy Norwood, McComb, MS, 1979.
12 – Robert Griffin III, 33, football player, Okinawa Prefecture, Japan, 1990.
13 – Kim Novak, 90, actress (Vertigo), born Marilyn Novak, Chicago, IL, 1933.
14 – Meg Tilly, 63, actress (The Big Chill), Long Beach, CA, 1960.
15 – Matt Groening, 69, cartoonist (The Simpsons), Portland, OR, 1954.
16 – The Weeknd, 33, singer, born Abel Makkonen Tesfaye, Toronto, ON, Canada, 1990.
17 – James Nathaniel (Jim) Brown, 87, Hall of Fame football player, St. Simons Island, GA, 1936.
18 – J-Hope, 29, rapper, born Jung Ho-seok, Gwangju, South Korea, 1994.
19 – Benicio del Toro, 56, actor (The Usual Suspects), Santurce, Puerto Rico, 1967.
20 – Trevor Noah, 39, talk show host (The Daily Show), comedian, Johannesburg, South Africa, 1984.
21 – Jack Coleman, 65, actor (Heroes), Easton, PA, 1958.
22 – Vijay Singh, 60, golfer, Lautoka, Fiji, 1963.
23 – Naruhito, 63, Emperor of Japan, Tokyo, Japan, 1960.
24 – Wilson Bethel, 39, actor (Hart of Dixie), Hillsborough, NH, 1984.
25 – Ric Flair, 74, former professional wrestler, born Richard Fliehr, Memphis, TN, 1949.
26 – Teresa Palmer, 37, actress (A Discovery of Witches), Adelaide, Australia, 1986.
27 – James Ager Worthy, 62, Hall of Fame basketball player, Gastonia, NC, 1961.
28 – Ali Larter, 47, actress (Final Destination), Cherry Hill, NJ, 1976.
Rev. Frank A. Strother, preacher, pastor, leader, erected forty churches
Frank Strother served with the 43rd Regiment of Virginia Cavalry – Mosby’s Partisan Rangers, in Company A. When his parole was issued at Winchester on 5 May 1865, he was eighteen years old. Strother was converted and joined the Methodist Church in 1866. He attended Clifton Preparatory School at Markham and Randolph-Macon College from 1868-71. Strother was admitted on trial to Baltimore Methodist Episcopal Church South (MECS) at Warrenton in 1872. He became a Deacon in full connection in 1874, and was later ordained an Elder.
As a church planter, Rev. Francis (Frank) Alexander Strother was a pastor who invested his time and energy to till new soil, plant fresh seed, foster new growth, and reap a new harvest. Rev. Strother was a determined and faithful pastor who sought to evangelize the lost and shepherd God’s people. He took the responsibility as the primary leader and principal evangelist. Rev. Strother did most of the heavy lifting when it came to sharing the gospel and invited people to believe in Jesus, not only from the pulpit, but out in the community as well. As a church planter he led in a hands-on and deliberate way, involved in nearly every decision, meeting and activity.
Rev. Strother would successfully make the transition from planter to pastor, watching the church mature, and gradually delegating the necessary tasks, empowering others to lead. He understood the principals of community evangelism, acting in partnership with citizens and local businesses to promote each new church build.
Rev. Frank Strother, for most of his long career, was an appointed preacher in the area of the Winchester District: Piedmont-Linden (1872-73), Piedmont (1873-74), Linden (1874-75), East Rockingham (1875-79), Berryville (1879-83), Brucetown Circuit (1885-87), Brucetown (1887-88, 1911-15), Winchester (1889-91), Stephens City (1890-94), Hamilton (1903-07), Fairfax (1907-11), and Edinburg (1915-18). He is given prominent attention at Duncan Memorial, where he is considered one of its founders, and also at Crums UMC, both churches in Clarke County. He is also credited with founding or revitalizing Refuge, Relief, Fairview and Macedonia UMC in Frederick County and Bethany UMC in Loudoun County. 
He was appointed to Stephens City Circuit 1889-93. Strother pastored Stephens City UMC from 1889-1892. He served 46 years under MECS appointment (1872-1918). His other appointments were Linganore, Md, Shepherdstown, WV, Fincastle, and Jefferson, WV. He retired in 1918 and died Aug. 22, 1925, in Stephens City (age 78). Strother is buried in Green Hill Cemetery in Berryville, VA.
One of the last of the Circuit Riders, Rev. Frank Strother was assigned to Berryville ME Church (now Duncan Memorial Church), in 1879 and helped establish funding to build a new two-story brick building constructed between 1882 and 1884, replacing the outgrown wood frame 1871 meeting house. Rev. Strother is honorably mentioned on the church web site history as an individual who served long and faithfully by preaching at five other churches on his circuit while serving the Duncan congregation.
According to Middletown historians and sisters, Lillian May and Lula Lauck, a cow was essential to rebuilding Fairview Methodist during the 1890s. Fairview was an old, small, and dilapidated church house (built 1861) between High View and Canterburg. The Rev. Strother, at a revival meeting, so stirred up the crowd as to the need of a new Fair View church (now Fairview), that an old lady started the new church fund by selling her cow. Miss Lillian May and Miss Lula, as young girls, worked ardently getting subscriptions for the church. It was built on the site of the old one, close to Friendship U.B. Church—both churches are still  there, at a road intersection and this corner is now known as “The Double Churches.”
Encouraged by the success at Fair View, the Rev. Strother held a six- week revival in a big tent near the Fairfield School, a location then shown on county maps as “Fairfield” but which was far better known locally as “Lost Corner.” Rev. Strother said that this place should be known as “Lost Corner” no more—that he would build a church of refuge for the “Lost Corner” people. Subscriptions came in fast after the revival, the Lauck sisters said. The church was built and renamed “Refuge”; and Lost Corner is now known to everyone as the town of Refuge.
Again, in the 1890s, Rev. Frank Strother, then pastor of the Stephens City Methodist Church, held an evangelistic meeting in a grove near the schoolhouse. The meeting resulted in the organization of another Methodist church. George Thomas Massie, one of the converts, donated the lot, and the present church building was started in 1891. It was dedicated, free of debt, in 1892, and was named Relief Church.
Miss Lillian May and Miss Lula wrote in 1950 that there was a settlement known as “Lickspittle” on Middle Road about three miles west of Stephens City, an area part of Stephens City Methodist Circuit. There was no church at Lickspittle, said the sisters, and Rev. Strother set out to raise money to build one there. Again, he was successful; money came in, and soon the church was built. Rev. Strother said the church would bring the people relief from “Lickspittle,” so the new church was named “Relief,” which became the settlement’s name, and “Lickspittle” has been forgotten except by a few of the older residents. 
Another story tells how Rev. Strother prevented Macedonia Methodist Church from closing. Although the church was founded in 1843, and a new church was built in 1879, services were becoming infrequent there in 1894. Rev. Strother, the Stephens City MECS pastor at the time, declared the need for keeping the church open by having regularly scheduled services.
Rev. Strother began holding tent revivals, attracting around forty new members. The increased membership allowed the church to become part of the Stephens City Charge. By 1896, a church school was organized and the good Rev. Strother preached there two Sundays each month. Macedonia then went under the White Post Charge of the Methodist Church where it began to flourish.
Bethany Church was founded July 2, 1903, and from then until 1929 it was known as the Purcellville Methodist Episcopal Church South. Rev. Frank Strother, who was pastor of Hamilton Circuit, founded Bethany, and it was originally one of four churches served by pastors of that circuit. The others were Harmony at Hamilton, Trinity at Rock Hill and The Grove at Woodbury.
When Rev. Strother came to Hamilton as pastor in April 1903, he found churches all around Purcellville, but none in the town. Noted as a planter of churches, he lost no time in organizing a church in Purcellville with 36 charter members, most of who were transferred from Harmony Church at Hamilton. That fall the new church bought the property of the now closed Presbyterians, which they occupied until the present church was completed in 1929. Under Rev. Strother, the original membership of 36 increased to 64 by 1907. 
In a letter to Inez Steele in 1905 (published in her book, ”Early Days and Methodism in Stephens City, Virginia, page 75), Rev. Strother wrote, “I followed Rev. J. H. Du Laney on the circuit and found it in a healthy, prosperous condition. After two years administration, the circuit was divided and Middletown and Stephens City Circuits were formed. I was continued in charge of the Stephens City work and remained there two years, during which time two new societies were formed and thirty-eight hundred dollars were expended in building and repairing churches and four hundred paid to Middletown for interest in parsonage and the circuit was absolutely free from debt when I left. Truly much was accomplished and under God, it was due to universal and perfect unity and cooperation of people and pastor.
While it has been my privilege to serve in all my charges an exceptionally good and kind, generous and devoted people, Stephens City has equaled, if not excelled, any one of them.”
19 October 1925, page 7
Hold Memorial Service.
WINCHESTER, VA., Oct. 18. –
A memorial service for the late Rev. Frank A. Strother was held today in the Methodist Episcopal Church, South, at Stephens City, where he died about a month ago. The principal address was delivered by Dr. H. P. Hamill, Washington. A tablet unveiled during the services contains the inscription: “Rev. Frank A. Strother, 1847-1925, Soldier, 1861-65, Mosby Ranger, Preacher, Pastor, Leader. Erected forty churches, Friend of Man, Servant of God, Teacher Golden Rule Bible Class.”
 History of United Brethren and Methodist Churches in the Winchester and Harrisonburg Region, 1777-2017, Volume Three-Churches in Frederick County, dated July 2017, page 979.
 Bill Garrard, “Scrapbook of Correspondents Who Have Been Writing for The Star for 54 Years, The Winchester Star, July 1950.
 History of United Brethren and Methodist Churches in the Winchester-Harrisonburg Region, 1777-2017, Volume Two—Churches in Loudoun County, dated July 2017, page 154.
Three ways to celebrate the winter landscape
Although you can expect snow and ice every winter, each year brings a new landscape for you to enjoy. Here are three ways to rediscover winter’s beauty.
1. Plan a winter retreat
Book a weekend at a cabin in the woods, or keep it simple by visiting a day spa with a fabulous view. Check with your local tourism operators to find out what’s open for the season.
2. Get moving outdoors
Winter offers plenty of unique ways to celebrate the picturesque landscape. Whether cross-country skiing, snowshoeing, or hiking, there’s plenty of beauty to discover. Your sporting goods retailer can kit you out for your winter adventure.
3. Enjoy winter’s charms from home
If you prefer the great indoors, you can still take pleasure in the unique character of your garden at this time of year. Get to know the winter birds that visit. Engage your artistic side and recreate the view from your window with pastels or paints. Visit your local craft and hobby store for ideas.
Just as every snowflake is unique, so is every snowfall. This winter, make the most of this once-in-a-lifetime winter landscape.
Six types of kids most likely to be bullied
Anyone can be a victim of bullying. However, kids with any of these six characteristics may be more susceptible than others.
1. Successful. Kids who get positive attention from their peers, teachers, and parents may become the target of bullying from kids who feel inferior. These bullies want others to feel insecure and will try to discredit popular students.
2. Vulnerable. Children who are introverted, anxious, or lacking in self-esteem are more likely to be bullied. Bullies target these children because they’re less likely to fight back.
3. Isolated. Many bullying victims have few friends and are excluded from social events. You can help stop bullying by befriending kids who have trouble making friends.
4. Distinctive appearance. Unique features, such as height, weight, glasses, or acne, can make a child the target of bullying. Bullies often target physical attributes to get a laugh, and it can be damaging to the victim’s self-esteem.
5. Sexual orientation. The most brutal bullying incidents often target gay or transgender students. Schools must provide a solid support network for LGBTQ students.
6. Different races or religions. Bullying based on race, religion, and cultural practice is common. No race is immune from having bullies or being bullied. Students are singled out just because they’re different.
These characteristics aren’t flaws that need to be changed. It’s crucial to remind bullying victims that it’s not their fault.
Conflict vs. bullying: what’s the difference?
Conflict and bullying aren’t the same things. One describes a healthy dialogue between two parties, while the other represents an intent to harm someone else. Learning to deal with conflict healthily can give you essential social skills. It can also help you better identify bullying.
Conflict is a normal part of life and happens when two people respectfully disagree. The two parties have equal power in the relationship, and each has a chance to express their views.
Even though there may be negative emotions and hurtful words exchanged, both people are looking for a solution and don’t want to harm each other. Each person takes responsibility for their actions and modifies their behavior if they feel they’ve made the other person feel bad. Conflict can often lead to two people learning to solve problems and overcome challenges.
Unlike conflict, the goal of bullying is to hurt, harm, insult or humiliate another person and make them feel bad about themselves. The actions are unwanted and unwarranted, and the bullied person has little power to stop them. Bullying can result in physical and emotional harm.
Bullying happens when one person uses their power to control another. Power can mean the bully is bigger, stronger, older, or more popular than the person they’re bullying. Moreover, bullies aren’t trying to resolve anything and show no remorse if they hurt someone else. There’s no interest in a relationship with the other person.
Stand up to bullying when you see it. Don’t be afraid to share your views and express your opinions constructively. Not all conflict is bad.