When pay isn’t the problem in our schools

I had the privilege of being welcomed into the Front Royal community two years ago as a school counselor with Warren County Public Schools. I am also one of the employees you may have read about throughout the debate over the tax increase. I gained experience at WCPS as a new counselor, built my resume, and am now moving to a higher paying school district. I want to take a moment to clarify something – leaving the district is not only about the money. It is about dignity.

As I clean out the filing cabinet in my office, I am seeing a hodgepodge of items I’ve kept. I have countless thank you letters, small gifts I’ll treasure forever, and thoughtful emails from parents. Unfortunately, I also have “nasty-grams.” I have emails from parents in all capital letters “yelling” at me in disagreement over a consequence their child was given by a teacher. I have a memo a parent drafted using legal jargon requesting I no longer meet with their student, on which they cc’d the school board (I checked, the school board never received a copy, this was a scare tactic). I think back to amazing meetings where I’ve been respectfully corrected, where parents have been kind and forgiving and we came to a mutual understanding. I also think back to highly confrontational meetings where I questioned my safety and the well-being of their child. As I’m reflecting back I can’t help but wonder, did my students know I am being treated this way?

I often joke that I did not get into the field of school counseling for the fame and fortune, I got into the field to be an adult who will hold an accepting space for students. An adult who will celebrate in student triumphs, fight back tears myself as they cry, and guide them towards the decisions that will lead them into a healthy, functional adulthood. I entered into the field for the same reason as teachers do: because I love kids. I do. We all do. But I also love myself and cannot accept the mistreatment that is sometimes excused, or emoted, by parents.

As I look back at the mess of support and frustration in my filing cabinet, I see deep distrust in the community between the public and its schools. Parents and students often forget that no educator gets into the field of public education for the money. We are not here to sabotage or place obstacles in your child’s way. We enter the field to enrich the lives of children and by extension, their families. We want to foster good citizens and support the community. School staff – from teachers and administrators to cafeteria workers and custodians – deserve to be treated with dignity. If you get a call home that your child has treated staff with anything but respect, please hold your student accountable. We staff are imperfect humans that have the best intentions with your child. If you disagree with staff, give us the benefit of the doubt until we can discuss the issue at length. When students see their parents mistreating us, they learn it is okay to mistreat school staff as well. I guarantee if you yell at us, your child will in turn to do the same thing when the opportunity arises.

It is all too easy to forget the golden rule but we must remember as our children are watching. Support those who support your kids and WCPS will be all the better for it. It may even save you a few tax dollars in the future and increase staff retention. For me, I’ll be recycling the nasty-grams and taking my treasures (and dignity) with me.

Amanda Purrier
Front Royal, Virginia