The Royalty of Gestures: The Nod

Like the variety of words Eskimos use to describe snow, the “nod” has infinite meanings and offers endless, nuanced shades of communication. A nod can simultaneously speak virtually every language yet never utter a word. A nod can be heavy or weigh nothing. For these reasons and more, the humble nod is considered by many to be the Royalty of Gestures, an art form: side to side, up and down, or down and up.

The most common nod sighting is when two males cross paths – happens every day if one steps out into the world. (Generally speaking, women may not nod in passing, though there are exceptions.) It’s an eye-to-eye male thing whose origins probably date back to when we were still in the cave, and it was critical that one’s intentions not be misunderstood. First, a meeting of the eyes and then a nod of friendly feelings.

Ninety-nine times out of one hundred, the nod begets a return nod so that the nodders know all is well in their respective worlds. Handshakes come from the same place. Occasionally, the noddee doesn’t return the nodder’s gesture: Bad hair day — Nothing personal. Even rarer is a bounce-back scowl: Angry man — Potential danger. Danger, where the benefits of casting a nod are most informative. There are some people for whom it’s best to keep one’s distance. Here’s a perfect example where, without saying a word, a nod is telling us something — And we should listen.

There are regular nods and “up-nods,” whereby the head is gently snapped up and back down, whereas a regular nod is down and back up. The regular nod is employed almost exclusively with males you don’t know, feeling out for that communication of peaceful intentions, whereas the “Up Nod” is reserved for friends or acquaintances and often accompanied by a verbal acknowledgment as in “Hey, Joe” Up Nod.

On occasion, women may demurely smile back at an appropriate male’s nod, one whose meaning is respectful, where there is a mutual understanding that there is no intent to encourage anything further. Think of it as a tip of the hat. But never a return nod here. And there is the side-to-side nod in company, which usually means either a simple no or when secretly done with great subtlety in a delicate situation: “Shut up.”

The mutual understanding nod happens when two or more individuals bob their heads in collective agreement, up and down for yes, or side to side, together, for no. The up nod doesn’t apply here. Meditation precedes the “all-knowing” nod. Also, be careful with your “Auction nod”. An accidental nod at the wrong time at an auction could buy you a castle in Spain that you couldn’t pay for in a million years.

A raised eyebrow often serves in place of a nod, reserved mostly for male-female encounters. But we can’t all do that, and so have to fall back on the nod, providing an appropriate invitation has been sent. A nod here is usually not as effective as an arched eyebrow thrown at the right time.

A nod is an acknowledgment, a courtesy, an answer, an opinion, a question, a yes and a no, and, with a shrug of the shoulders, even a maybe.

There’s so much more. Here we’re just scratching the surface on the art of nodding.