The toast: How to find the right words and say them with style

Whether you’re the best man toasting the bride and groom or taking your turn to toast the new year, the stage is yours. Make the most of it.

First, here’s what not to do. Don’t think you’ll come up with the right words when your time has come. You could draw a blank or worse. And don’t write out your toast and read it.
Instead, think about what you want to say the week before the event. Here’s where you could write it down and practice giving it if only to yourself. Practice so you can say it without your notes and until you sound like the natural you.

Check for the number of times you say “I” or “me.” It’s not about you. If a glass of wine will relax you, go ahead and have one, but no more until after you have spoken.

First lines count, especially if you are in a roomful of people at an event such as a retirement party. Asking if everyone can hear you gives a starting point and tells you how loud to talk. Never start by telling people you are nervous or that you aren’t good at giving a toast.

If many people there don’t know you, introduce yourself and tell your link to the honoree. Tell a nice but funny story about the guest of honor.

Look the honoree in the eye and you’ll feel more comfortable than if you are looking at everyone else. Speak a little more slowly than normal so nervousness doesn’t make you talk fast. Quoted in Red Book, Sharon Naylor, author of Your Special Wedding Toasts (Sourcebooks Casablanca), says you’ll also have more time to gather your thoughts.
Unless it’s a planned “roast,” never embarrass the person.