It pays to be more likeable

Likability has a lot to do with friendly engagement.

Imagine you have organized an outing for a group of people. Everyone is smiling but one person, whose face seems neutral and his attitude seem uninvolved.

Now you wonder if that person doesn’t like the event; the situation; the conversation. Now imagine it was always that way with that person.

The person would probably rank lower on the likability scale than another who smiles, laughs, or even expresses disapproval. At least you know what the person is thinking.

It’s easier to read a likeable person; easier to talk with him or her; easier to approach that person.

What do those people have?

They engage themselves in the moment. Their faces express their thoughts — happy, puzzled, disapproving — but they don’t leave people wondering if they are present at all. They listen and they are curious about others. They look for similarity in interests.

You can improve your charisma. The rock star Prince did just that.

According to Forbes, Prince almost missed the fame train when Warner representatives saw him in public. Loved the music. His stage presence? Hated it. But Prince, on tour with Rick James, decided to study what made a memorable, charismatic stage presence and he incorporated these behaviors into his act. At the end of the tour, Prince ‘commanded his audiences’, Forbes reports. And he got his record contract.

Coaches say it’s a skill that can be learned. It isn’t something you’re born with, like charisma. Some tips:

* Be yourself. To be more likeable, behave in a way that feels natural, not stiff or self-absorbed. Be genuine.

* Get curious. Show interest in others, make eye contact for a time. Ask questions about their opinions and activities.

* Use facial expressions. Vary tones of voice and smile. Show enthusiasm about what you’re saying, especially in a work video conference.

* Listen. Focus on what others are saying. Show that you are listening.

* Find common interests. Share your thoughts on topics of mutual interest.