The Cracked Acorn: In a Hurry

It’s a Wednesday 5 o’clock morning, I am a few miles into the 35 miles drive to sort historic maps at the U.S. Geological Survey at Reston, Virginia.  A pit stop was necessary to purchase a muffin and a newspaper because the bumper-to-bumper traffic was doing over 75 mph downhill when I pulled to the outside lane and into the 7-11 parking lot.  I jumped out of the car, made the selections, and then waited to pay.  I said to the man in front of me, “I wish this line would hurry up; I’m running third.”This drew a few chuckles.

Meanwhile, the world’s largest optical telescope in South Africa’s Great Karoo desert is searching beyond the galaxies to the edge of the Big Bang.  A project, the GIANT EAR, powered by the world’s largest EVEREDDY battery, is to come online at any moment now.  If there is life out there, this will surely do the trick and can be picked up on the FM dial at 93.35 Megahertz.

Yes!! Yes!! we are receiving a signal from the Crab Nebula! (Our connection to the optical Karoo scope will give us pictures and sound. Let’s Listen in!

KKROCK HAD ORBITED INTO THE LOCAL CRAB WAWA.  HE HAS PARKED A PINK 2050 UGO WITH FINNED TWIN TURBOS. (The speed of light has put the UGO factory years ahead of us.) KKROCK RUSHES INSIDE TO GRAB A CHOCOYUM-COVERED CARBON BAR AND SNATCHES A LARGE STELLERBUCKS WITH TRIPLE SIPS. “COULD YOU HURRY IT UP A LIGHT YEAR OR SO? I’M RUNNING THIRD. I AM LATE FOR MY JOB AT THE SIRRUS RED DWARF WALMART!”

“NOT TO WORRY, ” SAYS THE MANAGER, “BUT I NOTICED THAT ONE OF YOUR TURBOS IS ACTING SLUGGISHLY.  HAVE YOU TRIED OUR NEW FUEL?”

“NO, FOR MILLENIUMS, I HAVE USED ONLY XREG,” REPLIED KKROCK.

“WELL! WELL! DO I HAVE GOOD NEWS FOR ALL YOU XREG USERS?  SWITCH TO A FULL CHARGE OF XLAX FOR A SHOOTING START AT THE BEGINNING OF EVERY ORBIT.  SOME OF OUR CUSTOMERS ARE NOW CONVINCED THAT ONLY XLAX WILL DO THE TRICK TO PUT THEM AHEAD OF THE CRAB NEBULA GRIDLOCKS. OLDER TURBOS MAY REQUIRE XLAXLITE.  MY! MY! WHEN WILL ALL THIS RUSHING END!!” THE MANAGER HAD A SMILE ON ALL OF HIS THREE HEADS BECAUSE HE HAD MADE ANOTHER CUSTOMER HAPPY!

(Stay tuned for what happens when the Karoo Scope & GIANT EAR finds KKROCK filling the wife’s UGO with ……losing contact….must get new EVEREDDY battery…)

Why are we in such a hurry?  Even the microwave oven is too slow!!!

 I’m in a hurry to get things done
Oh, I rush and rush until life’s no fun
 All I really gotta do is live and die
But I’m in a hurry and don’t know why
(from the ALABAMA group)

An Jehu answered, “What have you to do with peace? Turn and follow me.” So the watchman reported, saying, “He went up to them and is not coming back; and the driving is like the driving of Jehu the son of Nimshi, for he drives furiously!” (2 Kings 9:19, 20)

Psalm 46:10: “Be still, and know that I am God.”