What you should know about helicopter parenting

Do you oversee every aspect of your children’s lives? Do you tend to hover around them managing every challenge that arises? While it’s a good thing to be involved in your children’s lives, smothering them — a.k.a. helicopter parenting — can have serious consequences.

The risks
In order to develop autonomy, confidence and self-esteem, children need to learn to navigate trials and tribulations on their own. As kids grow, it’s best to allow them to manage their problems, make mistakes and learn from their successes and failures.

Studies indicate that children of helicopter parents tend to have difficulty developing their independence and regulating their behavior. A young person whose early childhood spats with playmates were managed by well-meaning parents may come to have little tolerance for disagreements and act out in ways that isolate them from their peers.

Children who were raised by parents who continuously spoke on their behalf may also have trouble expressing themselves. In some cases, they may even believe they aren’t capable of being responsible for themselves.

What you can do
Parents can and should be involved in their children’s lives. However, it’s best to offer love and support while encouraging autonomy and self-sufficiency.

If you think you’re a helicopter parent, take stock. Determine what things you’re doing for your children that they can and should do on their own (it may be helpful to write out a list). Gradually, back off from performing these tasks.

Remember, it’s okay for children to make mistakes, take wrong turns and sometimes fail. Undoubtedly, these are the moments that will provide the most meaningful lessons.