Don’t just console, do something

When a friend is suffering from grief, don’t stay away because you feel helpless. When visiting, don’t give examples of people who suffered even worse losses, or point out a silver lining, and don’t depart with the meaningless statement, “If there’s anything I can do …”

You’ll be most helpful when you think about what this person needs. Offer to babysit, drop by with a bag of groceries, or say you’ll run errands.

Be sure you aren’t taking care of them just to satisfy your need to do something.