Is Parent Speak all about control?

Share! Be Careful! These typical parental cautions are too coercive, so says Jennifer Lehr, the author of Parentspeak.

Parent speak is about compliance when parents should be trying to understand the motivations, thoughts and behaviors of children, she writes in The Wall Street Journal.

Lehr cites the example of asking children to thank someone in front of the giver. The child doesn’t realize it is time to offer thanks but when the parents instructs them to do so, the child is again under the control of the parent.

Parents often praise compliance rather than achievement with the ubiquitous: Good Job!

“We could try to ask our children why they don’t want to do something and explain why it’s important to us,” she writes.