How to update your inner circle

Finding new connections and friends to add to your inner circle, people who will support you, help you, and encourage and motivate you is difficult.

Writing for Inc., business expert Jeff Haden says it’s not difficult to spot the people who are holding you back. If you have any of these in your inner circle, remove them:

Egocentric advocates: They rarely advocate for anything other than their own ego and points of view. Their “perspective” is often just bragging in disguise.
Keep the people who ask smart questions and share lessons learned and ways to do things differently.

Your big fans: It’s nice to tell someone he or she is great. It’s much harder, and it takes a real friend to tell someone he or she can do better. Be nice to raving fans, but don’t pay much attention to what they say.

Inside Scoopers: It’s hard to resist hearing the reasons behind someone’s decisions, but the person who gives you the inside scoop on other people is also giving others the inside scoop on you. Those you want in your inner circle are willing to share the inside scoop only on their own thoughts.

Roadblock predictors: They believe they have the ability to foresee a long list of potential barriers and problems that, in reality, will not appear. Someone who counters every idea with a list of reasons it won’t work has to go.

Schmoozers: Networking isn’t a numbers game. Connections are just the beginning. Keep the schmoozer out of your inner circle.

Needy inner circle members: They want regular check-ins and contacts so they can feel reassured that you still “care.” The people you want in your inner circle are there when you really need them, just like you are for them.

The dead-brained: They just drift like zombies and can kill your motivation and enthusiasm. Surround yourself with people who have ambitious plans, purposes, and big goals. Even if their goals differ from yours, you’ll feed off their energy, and they’ll feed off yours.