Old Friends: A Rhyme with a Message

Many of us remember the childhood rhyme: “Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold.”

This simple verse paraphrased from a 19th-century quote by Welsh composer Joseph Parry, carries a powerful message about the value of new and old friendships.

While it might feel natural to drift apart from friends as we move through different stages of life, it doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, maintaining old friendships can be incredibly rewarding.

The Time Investment of Friendships

Building friendships takes a lot of time and effort. Studies published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships reveal that it takes about 50 hours of socializing for an acquaintance to become a casual friend and around 200 hours to become a close friend. Given this significant time investment, it makes sense to nurture and maintain these bonds rather than let them fade away.

Why Do We Lose Touch?

Yet, many people are hesitant to reconnect with old friends. According to social psychologists Lara B. Aknin and Gillian M. Sandstrom, in an article published in Communications Psychology, over 90 percent of people in their study reported losing touch with an old friend. The majority of them felt neutral or even negative about the idea of reaching out again. The researchers concluded that as time passes, we tend to see old friends as strangers, making it harder to bridge the gap.

Rekindling the Connection

The truth is, reaching out to an old friend doesn’t have to be daunting. It might take a little courage, but rekindling those golden friendships can bring joy, comfort, and renewed connections. After all, the time spent building those friendships was an investment worth preserving. So, the next time you think of an old friend, consider reaching out—a silver friend might just turn into gold again.