Mourning a loved one

Losing a loved one is never easy, and yet it is something we all must face. After the wrenching loss of death, how do we move on? When we are in that dark period, with barely enough energy to continue living ourselves, it seems unimaginable that there is a way through the mourning process. How do we stay loyal to the deceased, how do we continue to love him or her without getting swept away by grief and depression?

Funerals are not meaningless traditions; their reason for being is to help the living come to grips with the loss of the one for whom they grieve. Funerals or memorial services bring an extraordinary power to the mourning process: our people, our community, come together for a moment in time to surround and support us as we experience our terrible loss. But when those friends are gone, what then?

It is important that we express our emotions. Leaving them unspoken or un-cried can lead to dark thoughts, a reaction to suffering that gets bottled up inside. Putting words and tears into our grief will ease it. Releasing our emotions and being aware of them might seem indulgent if we’ve been taught to control them tightly, but doing so will help us to better cope with loss and pain.

In order to find the strength to accept what has happened and to fight against depression, we can ask ourselves some questions: what would our loved one have wanted for us after his or her death? What would he or she whisper in our ear if they were with us during this suffering? What kind of life would he or she have wanted for us?

We must take our lives into our own hands. Following the death of a loved one, we must, more than ever, be aware that every day lived in good health is a gift. We must live on and hope and believe in life, both for ourselves and those we love.