Raising boys: What they need and what you can give them

Boys must be boys, but they need direction to become men.

So says Dr. Meg Meeker, a pediatrics and adolescent medicine specialist, who says today she sees an epidemic of life-threatening problems in boys that didn’t exist 40 years ago: Drugs, sex, drinking; all have taken a toll on boys.

She gives this advice to parents:

1. Be loving and firm. Don’t smother boys, but also don’t be so harsh you lose communication.

2. Encourage outdoor adventures. Boys need adventure, but not from another computer game. Let them test themselves in nature.

3. Set rules. All kids need them and boys, in particular, feel lost without them.

4. Teach virtue. It’s not just for girls. Teenagers especially are tested by opportunities for drinking, drugs and sex. Boys need to learn virtue just as girls do.

5. Tell them what you believe. Don’t worry about imposing your views — boys (and girls) need some orientation in the world.

6. Give yourself. You are the most important person in your son’s life. Give your sons your time.