How to say no

An old adage says that the most successful people aren’t those who say yes most often, but those who say no.

It makes sense: “No” is a means of prioritizing one’s time (or even money), deciding where it’s best spent and with whom. Yet “no” can be really difficult in a culture that seems to value those who add to their plates instead of lightening them.

And while some people will advise you that “No is a complete sentence” — meaning, we don’t always need a grand excuse, explanation, or disclaimers — it’s still a good idea to be polite. So how can we get in the habit of politely declining requests that come our way?

Here are some tips:

* Keep it clear and concise. You want to avoid being hounded, and the people asking likely want to avoid being the hounder.

* Avoid the silent treatment. Have you ever wished someone would have just said no rather than avoiding you? Yeah, that stinks. Don’t be that person.

* Offer an alternative. In business, this can mean a referral elsewhere. At work, it can be a suggestion for how to get something done another way. In your personal life, perhaps another day or location is better.

* Set ground rules for yourself in advance. It’s easier to say no when you’ve established boundaries for yourself and don’t have to take each decision on a case-by-case basis. For example, you might decide that you always work out first thing in the morning — so your calendar is already blocked off, and you’ve mentally committed yourself to something.

* Say thank you. This isn’t a must, but it’s often appreciated. A thank you for the offer, the opportunity, for thinking of you, etc. — followed by a polite decline.