New-look Classic Golf Tournament at Shenandoah Valley Golf Club: a duffer’s report

Shenandoah Valley Golf Club owner Richard Runyon and head club professional Jeff Forman sure didn’t know what they were doing when they invited me to represent the Royal Examiner at a press luncheon Friday.  I believe that in ‘olde golfe’ lingo I’d be called a duffer?

Richard Runyon, left, and Jeff Forman – Photo/Malcolm Barr Sr.

While I’ve been doing journalism for some 50 years, and was twice a sports editor, I’d never, ever covered golf – seen a tournament, even on television, attended a meeting, or even touched a what-do-you-call-it, a club, an iron, a what?  The closest I’ve come to golf is a collector of balls.  I do that while walking the dog beside Shenandoah and Bowling Green in the Rockland area of Warren County.  Oh yes, to be entirely honest, I’ve chosen to live on golf courses, two of them, for the past 35 years, mainly because I dislike mowing grass. I watch it grow and enjoy the view but don’t have to haul out the mower.

I was at the luncheon, apparently, because Runyon knows me, admires my journalistic endeavors (message for Mike McCool, Examiner publisher: Runyon says he “loves” reading our report each morning), and regards me as a sure thing when he wants a bit of free publicity.

Here it is, Richard, as best as I could understand the message you two were trying to get across, and before I get further carried away.

This year’s Shenandoah Apple Blossom Festival 22nd Annual Golf Classic Tournament is on Wednesday, May 3.  It will be confined to amateur players, but, and I confess not understanding this, professionals will also be welcomed.  It appears that confining this to amateurs, but not barring professionals (who, if they enter, won’t share in the prize money, thus keeping their numbers to a minimum), will speed up this year’s game, thereby allowing the club staff to be home in time for dinner, rather than hanging around the clubhouse half the night while waiting for the stragglers to come in.  Oh yes, the tournament format is 18-holes ‘stroke’ play, whatever that is.

Also, additional information says “one best ball gross added to one best ball net (Team).  Individual Amateur (Gross & Net)”.

I got even more confused, and embarrassed (how would you like to be sitting across from Kip Ritenour of the Sentinel who “shot a 65” in this tournament (he declined to say how many years ago) and is the record holder of something to do with this score.

I understood from the agenda the 8:30 a.m. player registration.  But explain to me if you’re signing the book at 8:30, what happens between then and the “shotgun start” at 10?  Ninety minutes to drink the first beers of the day, maybe?

Anyway, between 10 and 3 p.m., around 200 golfers (women are welcome to compete) will be buzzing around on the golf carts provided (even I would like that) and will be looking forward to the awards ceremony and reception (more beer?) after the final cart rolls in.  Everyone is welcome to the reception, Runyon says (I don’t know whether he meant “everyone” or just the four of us reporters at the lunch table, three of whom had evidently taken part in this extravaganza in previous years.  If I go, Mr. Runyon, I’d like to feel free to bring Mike McCool (the boss), Norma Jean Shaw (the editor) and Roger whatsisname, with me. Roger, who understands golf, says he’s known you for years and feels sure he would be included in your “everyone.”  He was hurt at not being invited to our lunch, however – he likes food.

Oh yes, one last note.  Thanks for announcing this signal event.  On May 4, we’ll put the dogs in the basement. You see, we live on the Shenandoah course and the dogs go crazy on every approach to the 9th tee. Or is it the 18th? Shows how much I know about golf.

PS – Richard Runyon is looking for cash sponsors in return for having company names on the carts. If I were a company, I’d choose “beverage cart” for obvious reasons. It only costs $500. http://www.flickr.com/photos/maddogphotography/4507451778/