How to talk to an elderly relative about their driving

Do you have an elderly family member whose driving has become dangerous? If so, telling them you fear for their safety can be difficult. Here are a few tips to help you broach this sensitive subject.

Give examples
Prepare a list of your relative’s risky driving activities. For example, not coming to a complete stop at an intersection or driving the wrong way down a one-way street. You can use these examples to gently question your loved one and determine whether they’ve forgotten the rules of the road or if their vision, hearing, or reflexes have deteriorated with age. If needed, you can suggest they consult their doctor.

Be compassionate
Losing the ability to drive can be frightening for someone who’s been doing so for decades. Therefore, approach the subject gently, and choose your words carefully. You don’t want to infantilize your loved one. Above all, be empathetic when expressing your concerns.

Offer solutions
Instead of telling your loved one, they must stop driving immediately, and suggest ways they can get behind the wheel more safely. For example, ask them to avoid driving in poor weather conditions or stressful situations like rush hour. This will help them maintain some of their independence.

If your relative is in complete denial and their driving is out of control, you may want to consider anonymously reporting them to your local driving authority.