Becoming a better listener reaps incalculable rewards

Now is a good time to assess the effectiveness of our personal, social and business relationships. We can usually maintain better ones with loved ones, friends, business associates, employees and clients, if we learn how to communicate better.

It has been long stated in self-awareness seminars that up to 90 percent of our communication is nonverbal. Shoulder shrugs, facial expressions and our body language often reveal more about us (or the other person) than spoken words.

When we’re being verbal, however, it’s important to remember that conversation is interactive, 50 percent talking and 50% listening. Of the two, listening is more important. Nobody likes a conversation hog.

Hints for more successful and courteous listening:

Make eye contact, but not for a long time, which can be aggravating.

Lean forward, nod, or tilt your head, to indicate caring and focus.

Use nonverbal reactions or short phrases (nod, smile, say “Mmm; Hmm; I see.”

Avoid interrupting.

Keep to the subject; don’t switch it to yourself.

Avoid becoming argumentative; conversations aren’t contests.

Listen intently for meaning behind words and respond appropriately.

Turn your cellphone to vibrate. The person you’re with deserves the same consideration you’d want.

Remember we have two ears and one mouth…